Frustrations and Insecurities.

Sorry if I'm not perfect. Actually, I'm very far from perfect.

I am far from being the son a parent wants.
I am far from being the brother a child wants.
I am far from being the student a teacher wants.
I am far from being a friend a person wants.
And I am far from being a lover a woman wants.

But I try my best to be, it's just that it's hard for me.

Frustrations and insecurities eat me like a piece of pie. They devour my whole and leave me in a state where I can't seem to know my worth, if I am worth something. I wouldn't bother to expound as to what my insecurities are. As if anybody would care.

As I write this blog entry, tears are pouring down from my eyes. Not because I am weak, but because I am strong enough to cry; to admit to myself that not everything is okay. I write this blog entry to let people know that I, too, have my own frustrations and insecurities. Actually, I'm full of it. People just don't know it.

People see me as the happy fellow; always smiling, laughing, and cracking jokes. But haven't they ever thought that probably, maybe I have a problem?

It's tough being the tough big guy. Nobody would bother to ask you if you're okay. Nobody would sit beside you and check if you're doing good. Nobody.

I will keep this short and brief. I don't wanna piss more people off.

Frustrations. Insecurities. They eat me like a piece of pie.

For Women

Women set their standards too high sometimes, but you would forget your standards once you meet the man for you. We fall in love. We don't walk into love. We don't jump into love. We fall in love. We don't mean to, but we do. You don't really choose who you're gonna fall for, my dear. It's as if Cupid would fire his arrow to the heavens and god-knows who he's gonna hit.

Romantic movies and stories are responsible for women's high standards. They are responsible for making women wait for their "prince charmings" who might not exist. Don't wait for your prince charming dear. Wait for the man who would make you his princess, and eventually his queen.

Don't expect to fall in love with the man that meets your standard because you'd probably end up disappointed. There's no perfect man, nor is there a perfect woman; but rather, wait for the man who would see you as a perfect woman and you will see him as a perfect man, no matter how imperfect you both are; because when in love, you won't see each other's imperfections, you'd only see each other's beauty.

You would actually forget your own standards the moment you meet the man who would make you feel special every single day of your life.

Skin-deep beauty would only bring you so far. Character, personality, and attitude, on the other hand, would last a lifetime.

You'd meet your gentleman one day, my dear; maybe tomorrow, or the next day, or god-knows, maybe you've already met him. Do not forget darling, we shape our own destiny.

Jealousy

Jealousy [jel-uh-see] noun - mental uneasiness from suspicion of fear or rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.

Perhaps I need not define what jealousy means. Probably most of you know what it is. Probably most of you have been jealous before. Maybe jealous of a person of a higher economical stature, jealous of a someone who has better things than you, jealous of someone who owns that red sports car you've always wanted, or probably jealous of someone who you think has a crush on the woman you love.

Nonetheless, all of us have probably felt jealous about something or someone before.

I hear people say "I have no right to be jealous" all the time. I strongly disagree most of the times. For me, as long as you love someone, you have the right to be jealous even if you're just a friend.

Yes, I know. You're probably thinking that I'm giving bad advice, but trust me, a little jealousy is necessary.

Just imagine if a husband never gets jealous of his wife. Would you think the wife would remain faithful or would not engage in an affair when she knows that her husband won't get jealous? I don't think so.

My mother had always been the jealous type. And that's one of the many traits that I have inherited from her.

Yes, I get jealous easily. I even get jealous when a close friend of mine makes a new friend. I sort of don't like the idea of losing someone's attention.

But that was well beyond the past.. I hope.

Jealousy is a bitch. It makes people think stuff; do stuff.

Jealousy is a bitch. It weakens relationships, eventually destroying it.

Jealousy is a bitch, and I am infected.